“You need your team rowing in the same direction, and the only effective way to achieve that is by cultivating strong relationships where moving in the same direction is seen as the only option.” — Lewis Howes

While reading Howes’ book The School of Greatness, this phrase stood out to me above all the rest. It touches on the core of what I’ve tried to convey over the last decade: the stronger your relationships, the greater your chances of success. But what really struck me about the phrase wasn’t how Lewis Howes seems to agree with me—though I appreciate that—it was how he points out that a team, regardless of the strength and depth of individual relationships, is only as strong as its mission.

This is what I teach with the Relational Action Plan. If this concept isn’t familiar to you, it’s where you define your goals by identifying who you need to help you achieve them and how you can help each other. These may be relationships you already have, relationships you need to develop, or even contacts you aspire to have. This type of plan drives mutual success through generosity.

The only way to truly focus on results and serve your relationships is to know what your goals are. Once they’re defined and you’ve committed to them, you’ll not only know what relationships you need to build to reach them, but also how these goals align with those of your contacts so that the outcome benefits everyone.

Sometimes I encounter resistance to the idea of prioritizing relationships in this way, but this is how we naturally function. You’d never put your children’s friends’ interests ahead of your own children’s, so knowing how professional relationships can help you succeed isn’t such a big leap. What’s important to remember is that goals must be aligned, so that everyone is working in the same direction. Others must see how working with you benefits them.

Once you understand how and where your individual goals overlap, approach these relationships with a spirit of service. A good way to do this is by sharing your professional goals to show how resources can be combined and leveraged to move everyone forward. We all have weaknesses and gaps that can hinder progress, but offering your strengths to help someone succeed will always make them more willing to use their strengths to help you in return.

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“You have to be okay with the fact that some people are better than you at certain things in the long run. Why should you feel threatened by that?” — Lewis Howes

It’s been said before, but egos can be like a hellish drug. We like to think we’re “hyper-capable,” but unless you’re Serena Williams or Andy Murray in tennis, there’s probably at least one person in the world who’s better than you at something you need to succeed. And even they have coaches, managers, lawyers, and agents who take care of the areas they’re not so good at. So trust the expertise and knowledge of others when you need it.

The flip side is what you manage better than others on your team. That’s how a team works—so own it. Be open and generous with the skills, talents, and experience your teammates need. Play your role in the Relational Action Plan. You’re the captain of your own ambition, but if every team member plays their part, together you’ll have greater chances of success and face fewer obstacles along the way.

Even the best teams can falter if they aren’t clear on why they’re working and what individual roles are within the strategy. But if everyone sees the finish line and agrees that all benefit from reaching it, they’ll work harder and better to get there.